The End Result
A college senior who does indeed find it appropriate, on occasion, to put shrimp into floral arrangements. In my defense, I didn't act alone, and we removed the shrimp so that no one else would have to.
But those are both feeble arguments, and do little to expiate my fundamental sin of stupidity. What can I tell you? Not all autohagiographies arrive at the point where the subject has established her/himself as worthy of hagiography. I advise the disappointed among you to return to my home page, where you may reasonably expect to be every bit as disappointed as you are now.