Those who would wish to see the soul-crushing letter informing me of the fiendish plot may see it here; if you would prefer a larger version of the ingenious opening paragraph, that too can be arranged.
You might like to note that I still have the release form they requested; note that they ask for a parent's signature, not mine. I wasn't even old enough to sign away my own dignity when they did this to me.
Still want more? Very well. On to the ultimate humiliation we go.
